


When I’m Lost, Will You Be The One To Guide Me Back Home?

by Crazy4fanfics



Series: Ereri Week! 4 Oct 2019 - 10 Oct 2019 [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alive Carla Yeager, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Character's Name Spelled as Jaeger, Comfort/Angst, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, Eren goes MIA, Hanji is there if you squint, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Tried, I'm Going to Hell, Levi cries, M/M, Sad Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), What Have I Done, mentions of Hange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 08:09:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy4fanfics/pseuds/Crazy4fanfics
Summary: “Mr Ackerman, we are sorry.”Levi couldn’t help but stand mutely at the door, hands clutching tightly onto a crumpled piece of paper and a soft piece of fabric. His brain stalls for a moment, as he tries to process the words into his brain. But he couldn’t believe it, he doesn’t want to. He wanted to stay ignorant. In the same mindset that everything would go smoothly, nothing would go wrong. But life just had a fucked up way of slapping people awake and dragging them back into reality.“What?” His voice comes out as a soft, broken whisper.





	When I’m Lost, Will You Be The One To Guide Me Back Home?

**Author's Note:**

> What have I done?  
I tried my best to write this angst so... enjoy?

“Levi, stop doing this to yourself.”

Levi hears Carla say, her voice soft. Had this been a different type of situation, he’d probably answer. But he doesn’t; he says nothing. Simply just sitting on the chair, his hands wrapping around his knees as he brought them closer.

“Levi… please talk to me. Y’know, everyone is worried about you. Even Kenny. Please, Levi. At least eat something. The doctors are doing all they can-”

“How can I when Eren is in pain?!” Levi snaps, his head turned to face the elder woman. Metallic blue eyes meeting soft honey ones. But his eyes had lost all life in them, the once sparkling azure eyes, full of life had been reduced to nothing more than a sad dull navy blue. Hanji used to say that his eyes could change colour, from blue to silver. But since the incident, it never changed, always remaining the same dull colour.

* * *

_ 2 years ago: _

“Mr Ackerman, we are sorry for the loss.”

Levi couldn’t help but stand mutely at the door, hands clutching tightly onto a crumpled piece of paper and a soft piece of fabric. His brain stalls for a moment, as he tries to process the words into his brain. But he couldn’t believe it, he doesn’t want to. He wanted to stay ignorant. In the same mindset that everything would go smoothly, nothing would go wrong. But life just had a fucked up way of slapping people awake and dragging them back into reality.

“What?” His voice comes out as a soft, broken whisper. And time pauses for a second. “Wait, please! This can’t be true! This is a prank! This just has to be!” His voice cracks as he pleads, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. The two men clad in suits at the door look at each other and solemnly sighs.

“We’re sorry.”

It was just two words. But they were enough to send the small male crumbling to the floor. Enough to start the fucking waterworks. Tears streaming down his cheeks, a never-ending waterfall. He touches his cheeks and finds them wet, water blurring his vision. “What?” he echos again, desperately trying to wipe the liquid away. But it never stops. It doesn’t stop when a comforting warmth envelopes him. He doesn’t stop when he hears the familiar, muffled voice that was Hanji calling his name. And it doesn't stop when the familiar voice of his supposedly soon-to-be mother in law whispers sweet nothings into his ear, gently coaxing him to stand.

-

“That… was worse than I had expected,” the male with a two-toned hairstyle says as the door in front of him quietly clicks shut.

“Of course it was! Jean! They were supposed to get married when he got back!” his brunet companion cries out, arms flailing around.

“You think I don’t know that, Marco? The suicidal idiot wouldn’t stop talking about it when he got the chance! I just...” Jean trails off and slumps into the side of Marco. He sighs and looks up at the sky, “Dammit Eren,” he mumbles. “Where the fuck are you?”

-

“Levi? Honey, you’ve been in the room for hours now, I’m sure you’re hungry, could you please come out? At least to eat?” Carla knocks quietly and says, although her voice is slightly muffled by the door. Levi, however, doesn’t respond. He only solemnly sits on his bed - their bed, wrapped in the velvety blanket was once theirs. He hears Carla softly sigh. He could imagine the resigned look on her face; eyes downcast, barely reflecting any life in them and lips pulled into a tight frown. Head lowered to stare at the ground with sagged shoulders.

“If you’re hungry, there are leftovers in the fridge.” 

Footsteps follow afterwards, leaving the door. Truthfully, Levi was starving. But he could not bring himself to eat. How could he? When his fiance was missing, somewhere out there, probably stuck in the enemy base and getting tortured? He’s probably dead. His corpse rotting away in some disgusting basement, after all, it’s been months since Eren had gone missing.

Fuck, they were supposed to get married. They had planned everything, ordered the cake and all. He remembers Eren’s cheeky smirk when they had gone out on a date, the date that Eren had proposed at. The sheepish smile Eren had sent him, looking up at him with those mismatched eyes of his when he went down on one knee. Him jumping and crying out in joy when Levi had said yes. 

He looks down at the picture frame in his hands. It was a picture of him and Eren, taken on their 1st anniversary. It was nothing special, just two people, hopelessly in love. He has to move on. The raven knows that. The funeral was held a little over a week ago. Of course, he had violently protested against it. Believing with what little hope he had left that Eren was still alive. That he was just waiting for someone to go and help him. 

He hated it. The fucking looks of pity he got. He neither wanted nor needed the pity. They could shove their sympathy up their ass. All the “Sorry for your loss” held no meaning. They were just empty hollow words that held pity. Eren wasn’t dead. He was not gone. But he sounded as if he was simply trying to convince himself at that point.

Levi flops back onto the bed, hands holding the picture in front of him. - Maybe… he should give up? - the male lets his hand drop back onto the mattress. Eren isn’t going to come back home. He wasn’t going to show up on his doorstep and pull him into a hug to reassure that he was there. There wouldn’t be any more lazy mornings with Eren. He wouldn’t be waking up in Eren’s arms anymore. He won’t be able to snuggle up into his chest while brilliant mismatched eyes stare at him with a soft smile.

Eren won’t be there to share chaste kisses with. No more quiet nights together. He would never hear those three words whispered in his ears again. No more comforting hugs or heated kisses in the bedroom. The wedding just a mere wish that would never come true.

Levi’s hand goes slack and the frame falls to the floor, the glass shattering. 

* * *

_ A few days ago: _

“Mr Ackerman, you may see him now.”

Levi wordlessly gets up and follows the man into the ward. The floor was a navy blue carpeted ground. The walls a stark contrast as they were painted white, so was the door, the curtain, and the medical bed Eren was sitting on. It was like a scene out of a fantasy movie. 

The curtains were slightly parted allowing gentle rays of sunlight to bounce off Eren’s tanned skin. The male’s chocolate brown hair was pulled into a messy bun, a few messy strands clung to his face. He wore the blue hospital gown a few scars peeking out from its long sleeves. Eren was facing the window, staring off.

He looked healthier than when Levi had first seen him, although the first time Levi was unable to interact with the brunet. It was a horrific scene; Eren looked as if he had come out of a horror movie. The male was severely injured. His body had been littered with cuts, bruises, bones protruding out of his skin and etcetera. His clothes were ripped, his skin pale, almost grey, lacking the healthy colour it was supposed to have. Dried blood here and there and Eren reeked of blood, sweat and death - not from Eren, no, he wasn't dead. “Eren?” he tries, walking up to said man. Eren, however, doesn’t say anything. He was still looking out the window. “Eren?” 

“Mr Ackerman.” Levi turns his head to face the doctor. “Communication is useless with Mr Jaeger here. He’s unresponsive to any external actions, such as communication, noise, or movement and etcetera. It seems that the cause of his unresponsiveness is due to the immense trauma that he received which caused his brain to shut down. We are currently trying to help Mr Jaeger here but until then, he will remain as such. We will call you when we’ve figured it out. Have a good day Mr Ackerman.”

Wordlessly, Levi nods and turns to look at Eren. The raven takes a seat on a chair, pulling up his knees to his chest. He doesn’t notice when the doctor leaves. He doesn’t notice when Carla had entered the room to call him to eat. He just looks at Eren, blocking any and all things around him. 

\- 

Levi doesn’t eat, he barely does over the course of a few days. A little snack on some biscuits and water that Carla brought and lunch that Mikasa had forcefully made him eat. 

“Levi, please stop doing this to yourself.”

But Levi says nothing. He just sits on the chair, his hands wrapping around his knees, bringing them closer.

“Levi… please talk to me. Everyone is worried about you. Even Kenny. Please, Levi. At least eat something. The doctors are doing all they can-”

“How can I when Eren is in pain?!” Levi snaps, turning his gaze to Carla, eyebrows knitted together and his mouth pulled into a snarl. “They told me, that they found him! After 2 years! And they show Eren to me like this? It’s like they want me to fucking cry again!” Levi barks, voice strained. Strained from the constant crying, strained from the lack of water. “He’s in pain! You can tell! Hell, you can see it in his eyes! How the fuck can you expect me not to worry about it? He’s in so much fucking pain… and I can’t do anything to help him.” Levi slumps back on to the chair, his knees still pulled to his chest and his voice becoming a hoarse whisper at the last sentence. 

“Le-” 

“He doesn’t respond y’know? He’s just there. He doesn’t remember anything.” Levi says as he returns his gaze back onto the floor. Gulping, he continues, “I want to do something. But I can’t. And it rips me apart to see him like this.” 

“It’ll get better. Eren will recover.”

“I know. But what if he doesn’t?”

“Levi, You know how stubborn my son is. Of course, he’ll recover. And when Eren recovers I don’t think he’d want to see you in this way.” Levi looks at Carla as she took a seat beside him. She places a comforting hand on his back and reaches to wipe away tears that Levi didn’t know was flowing. It was a gesture similar to that of Eren when he tries to cheer him up and Levi chocks back a few tears.

“That’s not Eren.” He whispers. “That’s just an empty shell of Eren. Eren died a long time ago. That’s not- He’s not my Eren.”

“Or maybe,” Carla takes her hand under his chin and prompts the slightly smaller male to look at her. She turns her head to look at Eren, her eyes go back to look at Levi again, then back to Eren. “Maybe Eren is just lost-” She turns her face back to Levi again and gives him a closed-eye smile.   


“-and he needs someone to guide him back home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Day 2 Prompt for Ereri Week: Angst | Heterochromia


End file.
